She can’t do this anymore. She hates what she has become. To be mad at things that concern someone else, is annoying. To care too much about things that she shouldn’t even think about, is tolling.
She rather be alone and not wanting to be some other way. She doesn't want to be a different person nor embrace this lifestyle in which she sacrifices a part of her. Was it wrong to come here thinking that she would finally have some happiness and someone to share and feel loved and understood? But it is so much more complicated.
She can't stand living with someone and being there for them all the time. To the point she has come to hate who she is now and all she does.
Before, her life was happy while dark and alone. Now, living with someone, company somehow hurts even more. Her previous numbness was consoling—a place where bliss reigned and crying for no reason didn't end up hurting anyone else.
She wants to disappear right now. Could it be she makes too much sense to be sane? No, she must be insane.
Why can't she just leave? That’s what she knows better after all, running away. She sure knows how. She's done it all her life. She loves to run away and change is all she’ll ever love.
Can she just not be here? Please let her leave. What’s holding her back? Some call it LOVE, but she doesn’t want to call it so anymore.
